I propose "Elite Geek" ID Cards

 I am a big jerk geek.  In fact, I am a tech elitist.  I know so much about gadgets, etc., I think I should be treated differently by sales people.  For example, when I bought my iphone, the sales person said "It has 'airplane mode', for when you are on an airplane."  Duh, I thought, because I am a jerk geek elitist.  I also was quoted four different prices from the same rate plan.  I could have sold that guy an iphone, not the other way around.  

But, in the final analysis, it isn't his fault he's ignorant (but it isn't mine either).  I'm sure he has a great personality AND is better looking than me (see inset).  He has a lot going for him, but selling me tech toys is not a good match.  But, never fear, I have a solution:

Introducing, the ELITE GEEK IDENTIFICATION CARD.  This card identifies me as a jerk geek elitist who knows more about the crap you are selling than you do.  When I show you this card, you will give me your username and password so I can log onto your retail store computer to can determine the actual price I am to be charged and what promotions are available.  I can also confirm the specs of the product, since you usually screw those up as well.  For an additional ten percent off of the purchase price of the item(s) I am buying, you may ask me one question about a product you are trying to sell to someone else.

Write your congressman to make this dream a reality!