How Many Speeds Shoud a Burrito Have? Carefree Catering's Five Speed Burrito

Nothing says made-up Mexican food like the breakfast burrito.  When I typed the preceding sentence, I was guessing that breakfast burritos were not a Mexican creation.  But since I wrote it, I looked it up and Wikipedia sez:

The breakfast burrito was invented in Santa Fe, New Mexico.^[8] Tia Sophia's, a Mexican café in Santa Fe, claims to have invented the original breakfast burrito^[9] in 1975, filling a rolled tortilla with bacon and potatoes, served wet with chili and cheese.^[10] Fast food giant McDonald's introduced their version in the late 1980s,^[11] and by the 1990s, more fast food restaurants caught on to the style, with Sonic Drive-In, Hardee's, and Carl's Jr. offering breakfast burritos on their menus.^[12]In 2014, Taco Bell launched their breakfast menu, which included breakfast burritos.^[13]

Can you believe it?  Gringos invented the breakfast burrito?  For you liberal arts majors, it smacks of cultural appropriation.  In fact, eating them is probably some form of oppression.  So, lots of room for self-righteous harrumphing in the breakfast burrito world, if you're into that sort of thing.

For the rest of us troglodytic types who just eat stuff that is delicious, you might want to know where the tastiest breakfast burritos are.  I won't drag it out.  Really.  I won't act like this is a reality show and make you wait through three commercials before I tell you who won.  Nope, gonna get right to it.  Riiiiight now.  Now.  It is . . . . . 

THE FIVE SPEED BURRITO AT CAREFREE CATERING!

 

There, it was worth it, right?  The food truck trend ended a few years back. To pick up my cuisine evolution theme from a prior post, by now, only the strong have survived (in more ways than one since one of the staff, after years of beating hunger, also decided to beat cancer as well).  So, how did Carefree catering win out?

Breakfast burritos are easy in theory.  The requirements are a tortilla (flour) and breakfast-type fillings (otherwise it is just a regular burrito you are eating at breakfast, like some sort of burrito alcoholic). You take the fillings, put them on the burrito and wham.  You roll up a breakfast burrito.  If you have tried to make a breakfast burrito, you may have noticed some challenges.  

First, you (and I) are probably not trained in the art of burrito rolling.  Maybe now that marijuana is becoming legal around the country, more people are developing rolling skills that can be transferred to the burrito world.  Maybe not.  The simple fact is, that you probably would rather your breakfast burrito was rolled by a professional.  It is a subtle art, probably learned only at the foot of a Kung-fu zen master in a remote dojo in the Himalayas.

Second, moisture.  People usually put eggs, sausage, even salsa in their burritos.  These all have a secret enemy to breads within them - moisture.  Whenever I make a breakfast burrito, it ends up leaking a clear liquid consisting of delicious oils and burrito flavored water.  Those (trigger alert) moist items ruin bread items, like tortillas.  It seems that professional grade tortillas maybe have some sort of waterproof compound that helps them withstand their fillings that is not available on civilian tortillas.

Third (and finally), the fillings.  Do you want a great breakfast burrito?  You need a bunch of fillings.  If you want to copy the five speed, you will need hash browns, sausage, ham, cheese, bacon and eggs.  If you are making one burrito, you have about an hour of work ahead of you to prep your fillings and then assemble your burrito.  But, if you get lazy and only do eggs, your burrito will be substantially less than awesome.  Go to a professional, and they have made your fillings (to some extent) in advance, cooking only the eggs and crisping up the potatoes right before assembly.

 

So, I think it is clear that we all need to have our burritos made by professionals, and Carefree Catering are those professionals.  Maria (the face of the operations) and Suzy (the muscle) are amazing.  They have weathered the storm of the food truck trend and buried all of their breakfast competition over the last four years.  If you are a regular, you can have their phone number and order your burrito in advance (no waiting!).  

And what a burrito is it.  I ruined the surprise, but it's full of eggs, cheese (a white, melted, non-American variety), ham, crispy hash browns, sausage and bacon.  It's also quite big.  Probably 8" long (that's what she said?) and about 4" wide.  You can have green or red salsa (red is the best, you will need two for the whole burrito).  It is quite big.  I used to have this burrito and eat it alone.  Then I remembered I was fat and started to share with a co-worker.  Now I eat half and put the other half in the kitchen to bless the life of whoever picks it up.  It is pure breakfast synergy.  Multiple textures and flavors, with the spicy (but not too spicy) red salsa in a reliable, strong but delicious tortilla.  

 

I hope that we (you and I, dear reader) have developed enough of a relationship that you trust me.  I am 100% serious about this.  This burrito is amazing.  Further evidence of this is found in the copycat burritos fast food joints are now selling (I'm looking at you, Jack in the Box).  

So, get a hold of Maria and Suzy.  They are in front of the Regional Justice Center on Lewis and 3rd Street every weekday in the morning.  They are consistent, they are friendly and, they are survivors.  If you are what you eat, eat a survivor's burrito (I know, that phrase doesn't quite work but I'm not changing it).