Back to reality - old steaks at the Ranch House

After last week, a bunch of you probably had unreasonably high expectations after my moment of somberness.  In approaching this week, I had two options.  I could let you down easily by writing something only 50% as poignant as last week.  Then, next week I would write something only 50% as poignant as that, and keep half-lifing you guys until we had gently floated back to the true level of my talent.  Or, I could just rip off the Band Aid, and we could crash back to reality in one terrifying fall.  I have selected the second option.

I have a lot of thoughts and feelings going around, but I don't have any new things to say about them.  So, I am talking about food.  Again.  You probably can't hear the sound of this sentence over the roar of readers leaving my blog, but wait a second.  There.  We are alone again.  Just like we were.  We didn't need those other people anyway.

So, to the task at hand.  We dined at an enigma last night.

 

Bob Taylor's Ranch House.  In business since 1955.  This may be the oldest restaurant in Las Vegas.  I like places with history, and this place has it.  My former favorite place with history was El Sombrero.  Unfortunately, after I had to defend a cab company against the wife of the owner of El Sombrero, the restaurant suddenly shuttered and reopened as a "bistro" with new owners.  I was left like Urkel asking "Did I do that?"  I don't think I did. But, it reminds me that a restaurant is so often a delicate thing.  No matter how good, no matter how fun, no matter how much you like the chef/owner/servers, there are a million ways to die as a restaurant.  Any restaurant that has not died, is noteworthy.  

But why is the Ranch House an enigma?  It has some of the most deeply mixed reviews I have ever seen.  Check it out on Yelp.  The reviews range from the worst to the best.  The service is great, the service is poor.  The meat is great, the meat his bad.  I could not tell from the reviews whether I would love or hate this place.  For years, we have driven by this restaurant and, paralyzed by indecision, have talked about trying it, but haven't.  We were simply unable to decide what to expect.  After this many years of being so far into our own heads, Amy finally just said, as we were deciding what to do last night, 'let's go to that place."  It was brilliant. It was simple.  I was furious that I hadn't thought of it first.  

When you get out of your car, you can smell the mesquite smoke.  That's a good sign.  We went in.  You walk right by the mesquite grill on your way to your table.  If you like rustic western themes, you will love the decor.  The walls are wood paneling (a' la my grandma's 70's mobile home) with western movie posters.  OLD western movie posters.  There were black and white pics of Tom Mix, and his horse (named Tony?  Was the horse Italian?).  Basically, stuff that only the most hipsterish of millennials would be able to understand.  

The menu is without frill.

 

This is only part of the menu.  First, look at the prices.  Not bad.  $10 for half rack of ribs is pretty good.  $9 for wings, also not bad. The old school-ness is also in evidence.  Sautéed chicken livers?  For how long has that been a thing?  I guess since 1955.  Then, maybe the most significant thing on the menu - soup or salad, side and garlic cheese bread are included with each entree.  Yes, the Ranch house is a reasonably priced steak house.  Compared to our favorite local place, Mrkt, the prices for steaks are similar, except that at the Ranch House, they come with sides.  At Mrkt, it's a la carte.  Amy ordered the special (a bacon wrapped filet with a bearnaise sauce with a portobello mushroom.  The waiter (a Russian guy who has lived here so long that some people mistake his accent for a southern one) told me the best things they make are steaks and smoked or prime rib.  I ordered the prime rib, our friend ordered a rib eye. 

 

For as old as this restaurant is, it doesn't lack for ambition.  I ordered the lobster bisque.  It looked a bit of a fright.  Those lumps are the saltine cracker I crumbled in there (because I am classy).  It wasn't bad.  It wasn't, however, too lobster-y.  The consistency seemed slightly off, but, like I said, it wasn't bad. 

 

Here is Amy's dish.  Twice baked potato, garlic toast in the background.  She had a normal looking (read: unassuming) side salad.  The twice baked potato?  Quite good.  The steak?  Not bad.  Frankly, I can't judge it.  Amy ordered it medium well which, is simply too much cooking for a steak to remain truly delicious.  I'm sorry world, it's Amy's fault.  The bearnaise was good, lively is probably the word for it.  

 

I got the ranch house potatoes.  They are not particularly appealing to look at.  They are essentially hash browns with four cheeses, garlic and onion (if I remember correctly).  They were good..  Decent flavor, the texture was ok (could have been crispier).  I was glad I got them.  That is the smoked prime rib.  I, like a real American, ordered it medium rare.  I was told that it smokes for 9 hours.  It is never ready prior to 4 pm.  It was good.  To fully evaluate it, I would need scientific conditions - a sample piece of prime rib and this one side by side, and a clean room (I've always wanted to use a clean room).  I didn't have these perfect conditions.  So, based on my vague memory of prime rib from other establishments, in my estimation, this was an above average prime rib.  The outside parts had a little bit stronger flavor.  The bark was kind of tough in parts, which makes it seem a little more authentic as a smoked meat.

 

This was the ribeye.  Also charred beyond good flavor by my friend.  RIP.  

After the meal, we stood outside and talked for a bit.  

 

The Ranch House has neat ambiance.  There is decorative lighting outside, there are also a lot of feral cats.  Parts of the grounds are certainly showing their age:

 

It is hard to see from this picture, but the far right globe has a hole that is covered by duct tape.  It is the appropriate method of repairing something out west.  

So, what is the verdict?  What should I make of a VERY old restaurant serving old (I mean this in a good way) food?  I have recently eaten at Asian fusion restaurants, hipster sandwich joints with lots of stainless steel.  How do I compare these places with the Ranch House?  How do I compare a place that seems to be a literal ranch house that became a for-profit restaurant with newer, trendy places with a menu and a decorative aesthetic?  Maybe I shouldn't.  

The Ranch House has good food.  No one at my table had anything bad to say, other than either the restaurant interpreted "medium well" as "well", or my companions realized that "medium well" is simply the least a amount of heat you can apply to a steak and have it be too much.  We all enjoyed our sides and the uninentionally kitschy decor.  We enjoyed the price point and the grounds.  So, in the end, I think we had an experience and a good one at that.  In fact, we left talking about how we would like to return.  That maybe we would come back for the $1 per ounce prime rib night, the all you can eat rib night, or just come on a Friday or Saturday for a date night.  

If you want the best steak in town, probably it isn't at the Ranch House.  If you want a really good steak and a fun dinner, you can find both at the Ranch House.  

Oh, and history.  You can have some history with your steak at the Ranch House, and I think you should.